My Trip to Ireland…In Limerick Form

In early 2006 I went on a vacation to Ireland. Several people – mainly relatives – wanted a detailed play-by-play of my adventures. I promise I would concoct something, but no matter how many times I tried, the task seemed too daunting.

So, I took the easy way out.

I put it to poetry.



I got off work at seven in the morn.
In two hours, I would be heaven borne.
I could not find sleep,
Where were those damn sheep?
I sat in my small seat forlorn.

My derriere started to give way
Due to my fifteen-hour day.
With all of that sitting
One felt like shitting,
But on a plane toilet, I will not lay.

MARCH 4th:

Dublin is a really odd town,
Where tourists flock on the ground.
If you’re tired as hell,
You will not fair well,
And seek to be homeward bound.

Thank God for the drink that is stout,
It alleviated my continuous pout.
The tour of Guinness
Got rid of my grimace.
Now I’m stumbling around like a lout.

MARCH 5th:

I gallivanted around Dublin City,
No longer feeling quite so shitty.
I hopped on a few tours,
And avoided the lures,
Of pubs that looked far too gritty.

Since I have no internal compass,
I got lost in the Temple Bar fuss.
As if spotting rare jewelry,
I stumbled upon a brewery,
And donned my crafted beer truss.

MARCH 6th:

Ah, the wonderful city that is Cork,
Irish-ness I could eat with a fork!
Now free of Dublin,
My trip could begin.
And finances, I would not bork.

I sampled a stout they call Beamish,
Not once did I feel a bit squeamish.
It went down quite smooth.
A thirst, it did soothe.
In contrast of Guinness’ ream-ish.

MARCH 7th:

Before you, my highlights of the day:
A butter museum, a gaol, wa-hay!
I got lost but felt swell,
Saw the Franciscan Well;
A microbrewery I found on the way.

A small note ’bout how the Irish break fast,
Pudding, eggs, and rashers at long last!
Oh, the food I did try,
Brings a tear to me eye,
How I wish the time had not passed!

A quick anecdote about my time in Cork, one that would be quite difficult to put in limerick form. I went to a church called St. Anne’s and rang the bell. However, to ring the bell, one has to go up a very narrow flight of stairs…in a small tower. I did so.

After pulling the ropes and hearing the loud chimes, I figured “what the hell,” I’d continue up the rest of it. The view of Cork from the top of the tower was breathtaking. Pictures were taken, but getting back down was a chore.

A flock of green-clad schoolgirls herded their way up the tower stairs, blocking my egress. When I finally made it down, the doorman looked at me oddly. I nodded in return.

“Enjoy the sites?” he asked.

“Yeah, but getting back down was tough,” I said. “My path was blocked by schoolgirls.”

“Oh, so you were in your element, eh?” he replied, giving me a knowing grin.

“Oh, nononono! To young! To young!” I countered frantically.

“Suuure, they are.”

Mind you, this conversation happened in the MIDDLE OF A CHURCH!

End of anecdote.

MARCH 8th:

Killarney was my third destination,
And a product of my procrastination.
I was in a bit of a bind,
For tours, I couldn’t find
To a castle in another part of the nation.

I visited a tower house called Ross,
I must admit I was at a bit of a loss.
My tour guide was British,
And I was quite skittish.
She was hot, and my heart turned to sauce.

March 9th:

I took a tour of the grand Ring of Kerry,
And our tour bus had a guest oh-so-merry!
A dog had stowed away,
In the back seat at play,
And away from sheep, him, I did ferry.

March 10th:

I made it to that damn castle in Blarney,
Three full hours away from Killarney.
I kissed that damn stone,
Upside down with a groan,
And my bus ticket fell out of my harnie*

* Made-up word for harness actually a jacket pocket. Couldn’t find anything that rhymed with Killarney.

The rest of my trip was a bit of a blaze;
Galway, the Midlands, Dublin in a haze.
I visited relatives,
And no superlatives
Will be made of my joy for those days.

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Saturday, November 22nd, 2008 Poetry No Comments

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