Realistic Resolutions – 2013 Edition

It occurred to me (and not for the first time) that I’ve accomplished very few goals that I set for myself this year. Part of that has to do with the year completely sucking – long and hard. Since I never keep to – or believe in –  New Year’s Resolutions, I thought I would keep it simple – baby steps, if you will.

I resolve…to work on my novel more.

No, I’m not going to say “finish”. That might never happen, and given the subject matter, I might lose interest halfway through. However, I can at least commit to 500 words of tripe a day. I think.

I resolve…to no longer eat fast food.

Except for Del Taco. Why? Because it’s Del Taco.

I resolve…to not yell at elderly Peruvian women.

There’s a story about that. No, I’m not ready to tell it. Let’s just say that Peruvian women are evil…and cunning. Crossing them is like crossing the Fates themselves.

I resolve…to pet my cat more.

I think she’s been neglected lately, which probably explains why she’s always “asking” for food. It’s the only way she can get my attention. Maybe a pat on the head every once in a while might curb her appetite.

I resolve…to maybe try to think about dating again.

I said maybe.

I resolve…to maintain a good work ethic.

By that, I mean actually “work”.

I resolve…to keep a better schedule.

I suck at time management. But maybe if I regulated my Del Taco runs…

I resolve…to limit my Netflix/YoutTube/anything-streaming time.

To two hours a day…instead of six.

I resolve…to occasionally put my balls to the wall.

Literally and figuratively. If law enforcement isn’t around.

And finally…

I resolve…to have at least one happy moment per day. Even on the shittiest of days.

Because as Jack Nicholson once said in smiley make-up: “If you gotta go, go with a smile”.

Too soon?

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Monday, December 31st, 2012 Musings 4 Comments

New Years Resolutions for Everyone Else

(1) Work, Don’t Whine
– Nothing is more annoying than someone who complains about a predicament or ailment in their life, but do nothing to change it. If it’s a problem that can be rectified, take appropriate action. Otherwise, we don’t want to hear about it. If you’re with someone who treats you like dirt, dump them. If you’re feeling fat, exercise. If you hate your smoking habit, quit. It’s that simple. Sure, it’s work, but it’s work to a conclusion.
(2) Think and Talk Less About Yourself
– I read somewhere that a sure-fire way to becoming depressed is to focus only on yourself. “I” and “me” statements – if given reign over your conversing ability – not only make you less interesting, but also less interested in others; including yourself. Focus on others for a change, yet don’t let it drain you either. Keep some of yourself in reserve, but not just for yourself.
(3) Do At Least One Good Deed a Day
 – It has been proven time and again that there’s no bigger euphoric rush than helping others in need. No matter how small, take the time to do at least one good thing for someone new. Exceptions to this? Those that you know that are “exceptionally” needy. They’re the equivalent to energy-sapping black holes. Diversify to avoid this calamity.
(4) Make Critical Observations but Not Judgments
 – This goes hand in hand with the “I”/”me” statement manifesto. Focusing on others doesn’t necessarily mean focusing on their negative aspects. If you do that, then it will only sour your own mood. If someone asks your opinion of someone else, take the editorial approach; constructive criticism. List the positives and areas where improvement can be made. Therefore you can only be accused of making an observation, while not being misconstrued as a gossip queen.
(5) Don’t Talk, Listen
 – Chances are if someone is wetting your shoulder with their tears, they don’t want to hear your advice. They want you to listen. Do so. If they ask, then you have permission to offer sage wisdom. Otherwise, just lend the ear…not the mouth.
(6) Dont’ Worry…It Doesn’t Matter
 – Everyone has heard the phrase, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” However, no one ever applies by that. There’s an old Thai Buddhist saying: “Mai Pen Rai”. Loosely translated, it means: “Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter.” What it basically gives you permission to do is shrug off those little travails that can’t/don’t/won’t define your existence. Shake ’em off like so much detritus.
(7) Take a Walk Once a Day
 – I have found that the simplest way to get exercise and clear my head is a good walk, even in poor weather. The outdoor chill, or the glaring sun, doesn’t matter. A walk is the best way to let all the troubles of the day, month or week simply seep away. Catharsis by way of a stroll. Try it and try to disagree with me afterwards.
(8) Go on an Adventure Once a Week
 – The best way to broaden your horizon is to do something you normally wouldn’t try. The best bet is to look upon every new opportunity that presents itself as a “quest”, and you’re there to conquer it. It doesn’t matter the nature or magnitude of the experience as long as it means something to you. Oh, and that you had a kickass time doing it. Always a plus.
(9) Read
 – Whether it’s something in crayon, littered with pictures, or featuring cutesy animals, a good way to keep your mind fresh and focused is a good book. You might not even enjoy reading normally, but give it a shot for at least an hour a day. Use it in conjunction with a good beverage. Avoid the television. You’ll feel like you accomplished something instead, rather than watch time whisk by.
(10) In the End, the Only Opinion that Matters Is Your Own
 – You may not always be right, your opinion might not always be welcome. In the end, though, you don’t need anyone else’s approval. You are who you are, and unless you’re deliberately harming someone else, you have every right to be as you see fit. Fuck the rest.

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Wednesday, December 31st, 2008 Musings 2 Comments

I work for tea money.


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