O.D. (Original Dumbass)

So, I made a boo boo.

I knew I probably caught a bug. My sister’s boyfriend passed his lovely plague onto me. (What a thoughtful guy, eh?…Actually, it’s not his fault. He couldn’t help it.) However, I forgot to pick up some Airborne at the first signs of “the tingle”.

You know “the tingle” – that little itch in the back of your throat that rings like a tiny li’l bell. It warns you that something is amiss, slightly askew, not as it should be. I got that early indicator the following day, but didn’t act on it. I figured my usual powerhouse of supplements and uber-teas would protect me from any boyfriend-in-law cooties.

I was wrong.

Before my last day of work for the week, the head-clogging commenced. Boys in my family have the unfortunate side-effect of getting really stupid once the head swells with gunk. I noticed this as I was grocery shopping and forgot to pick up sammich meat. The clogginess reared its retarded head again when I made a second stop to pick up medicine. I forgot the stuff…twice.

Finally, I got home and armed myself before that night’s workshift. I made my usual Power Pomegranate White Warrior tea, doused with some DayQuil, and popped a couple of Mucinex.
Let’s stop there for a moment.

Normal Mucinex DM’s dosage instructions are as follows: one or two tablets every 12 hours, no more than four in a 24 hour period. That is for normal Mucinex DM.

The shit I got was Maximum Strength Mucinex DM. Information on the website indicates that if the recommended dosage is exceeded, possible side-effects include: nervousness, irritability, anxiety, hallucinations, and dizziness. The product shouldn’t be taken if other stimulants are consumed. My dumbass read the label without glasses on, and I assumed the dosage was that of the normal brand.

This means I went to work on two DayQuil (which were caffeinated), two cups of tea (which were caffeinated), two Maximum Strength Mucinex DM tablets, and had two more cups of caffeinated tea while at work. I’ll just say the shift went by really quickly, given that I only remember about half of it. It was like being drunk without the booze and on speed – wandering around the lobby talking to myself, checking the mirror to see if my teeth were straight, having intellectual debates with pair of scissors.

You know, the usual.

This continued throughout all of that Thursday. To any of you who had conversations with me during this bout, my sincerest apologies. I blamed the NyQuil, but it wasn’t Big Q’s fault.

I woke up that following Friday around 4AM, took out the trash, made tea, made oatmeal (for me and my brother/roommate), made a bagel with cream cheese and jelly…

It was 8AM, and there I sat writing this damn blog.

But my nose was clear…um..if that counts for anything.

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Friday, December 5th, 2008 Musings No Comments

I work for tea money.


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